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| "Brian is an idiot! Why would he go back to her? After what she did? She doesn't care about him! She doesn't love him!" Lena opened her mouth even though she shouldn't have. "How do you know that, Ef?" Instantly she regretted the mistake. "What?" Effie came in closer, bearing down. "Are you saying she does?" Lena kept her voice low and uncommitted. "Don't you think it's possible?" "No! It's not! Do you know how she treated him?" She shook her hands emphatically. "You don't treat someone like that if you love them!" Lena felt her own face warming. Oh, but sometimes you do.
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| It's funny how healing going home can be. I feel like I always go back home a total wreck- malnourished, completely deprived of sleep, heartbroken, exhausted from over-studying and loaded in general with all sorts of aches and pains. Sometimes I even had broken bones and overdoses of medication. haha. Then I go home and get to hang out with awesome friends who are always supportive and so much fun and I get taken care of by my parents and my sister who I know really care about me. A weekend with that much love did wonders for me over Thanksgiving break, but college has done its crazy things to me and I am once again quite the wreck. I can't wait to go home. I need some major healing. Funny how I still love Berkeley. Maybe it's in a masochistic way... haha.
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| "Dear Sir,
I
regret to inform you that the inclement weather, in which you brought
on your last visit, is persistent in its torment. For days and days it
has rained without rest. And earthquakes have pinched the nerves of
delicate fault lines. The city is in ruins- flames from burning
buildings light up the night sky. As send this note in a bottle adrift,
I find myself waist deep in water. My only possessions left are my
hands and my heart. The seagulls have evacuated. Oh, how I long for
their wings."
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| I am currently obsessed with the song Fidelity by Regina Spektor:
Suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you
Kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose you never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs
Just to break my own fall.
All my friends say
That of course it's
Gonna get better...
gonna get better.
I love the music video too. The super emo lyrics are really relatable for me right now, I guess. Anyway finals are terrifying and I miss studio, strangely enough. Model-making was something that I really started to enjoy. It'll be nice to go home where I can spend my days making paper snowflakes, buying presents, writing Christmas cards and being just generally a cheesy Christmas person. I hope I can go to Disneyland this break! It would make me so happy =) I also want to update TL and the Movement's websites and shop a LOT! And maybe choreograph something for next semester, but we'll see. I'm excited! Just one more week...
My fun photos of the day: "Things I Miss Already"
I miss dancing!
Yes, that is a delicious picture of studio. hahaha. Darn you pourstone!
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| School is killing me with a sledgehammer. I knew it would be hard to handle Physics, Civil Engineering, History of Architecture and 11b Studio, I literally feel like I'm dying. Probably lots of dance practice isn't helping things. As Jimmy would say "It's your fault". Which it is for taking on so much. Well, too late now- nothing to be done. All I need is one full day a week where I don't have anything to do, which is an absurd idea.
Things I miss:
- Seeing family
- Hanging out with friends a lot
- Going shopping
- Ballet practice
- Reading fun random books and magazines
- Watching movies
- Finding and listening to new music
- Sleeping in
- Being bored
- Going out to restaurants for dinner
- Not feeling perpetually exhausted
- Doing well in classes
Sigh. Oh well. I just need to make it to Thanksgiving break. And all will be better after. I think... | | |
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